From Query to Pitch

How my agent got editor interest for my debut novel in three weeks

Today, I thought it would be fun to share the evolution from my query to pitch for my debut sci-fi romance novel Moonrising.

Like many in the querying trenches looking for an agent, I spent a lot of time obsessing over getting my query letter right. I included the meta data (word count and genre) right at the top and recently published comps to give a sense of where to put Moonrising on the shelf. I then transitioned to several plot paragraphs that made the stakes clear. And I ended with a short bio paragraph. The query did the job and got me connected with my fabulous agent, Jenna Satterthwaite.

The Query That Got Me My Agent

Dear Jenna,

I am seeking representation for my 86,000-word science fiction novel MOONRISING set in 2073. With a backdrop spanning from the hot, dusty desert of Abu Dhabi to the cold, barren surface of the moon, it blends a character-driven story with doses of humor in the vein of An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green with a hopeful vision for addressing climate change as seen in Nick Fuller Googins’ The Great Transition. MOONRISING may be a good fit for your interest in science fiction rooted in human connection.

University of Chicago agronomist Alex Cole wants to feed a world ravaged by climate change. Her controversial mutagenetic agricultural method has made her a pariah in the American scientific community and a target of environmental extremists. When she loses her lab’s primary operating grant, she receives a tempting offer from NASA to spend a year on the fledgling moon colony developing a sustainable lunar greenhouse in exchange for the funding to save her lab.

On the moon colony, Alex faces hostile scientists who are disgusted by the idea of eating mutagenetic food, the aloof colony commander who happens to be her estranged father, and a mold outbreak on the cherry tomato plants that just won’t quit. Despite herself, she is intrigued by Mansoor Al Kaabi, a charming Emirati businessman building the first lunar tourism industry. Mansoor pulls Alex into a plot involving an eccentric and brilliant American space entrepreneur, a gay Emirati painter turned successful lobbyist, and a vengeful Russian ex-mercenary, with far-reaching consequences for the future of space colonization.

When they face an invasion of their new home, Alex and Mansoor must work together to shape the direction of the moon colony. If they cannot bring the residents together, they risk the colony becoming a dangerous negotiating chip in a second Cold War between the United States and Russia.

I live in Chicago (like you!) where I maximize vegetable gardening on a small bungalow lot. I graduated from the University of Chicago with a degree in public policy. MOONRISING is my first novel.

Thank you for your consideration. May I send you the full manuscript?

Sincerely,

Claire Barner

From Query to Pitch

Like with everything in my writing journey, Jenna helped me level up. She developed this fabulous (and long!) pitch. In the meantime, I had done extensive reading in my genre and we used new, better comp titles. This pitch got me editor interest in a matter of weeks and ultimately led to my two-book deal with Diversion Books.

The Pitch That Got Me An Offer

[Personalization to Editor]

With a multicultural and LGBTQ+ cast and a backdrop spanning from the hot, dusty desert of Abu Dhabi to the cold, barren surface of the Moon, MOONRISING blends the character-driven soft sci-fi of Mary Robinette Kowal’s The Spare Man with slow-burn romantic sci-fi of Winter’s Orbit by Everina Maxwell. It would also appeal to fans of Emily St John Mandel’s Sea of Tranquility.

This project also has a special timeliness considering the excitement and interest around NASA’s Project Artemis, which aims to establish a permanent base on the Moon. This novel fleshes out in a very fun way what it might look like to have an established lunar colony, from the challenges of growing a sustainable food source to dealing with the long-term effects of low gravity on the human body. I also think this would be a big hit with fans of Apple TV’s popular series “For All Mankind” (which I happen to adore as well!).

How to save a planet ravaged by climate change? Mansoor Al Kaabi and Victor Beard have a plan. And it all starts with building the Moon’s first hotel.

It’s 2073, and agronomist Dr. Alex Cole has dedicated her life to mutagenetic food, the only solution to feeding a world torn apart by climate change. It’s hard, lonely work, and it doesn’t help that Alex is a pariah in the scientific community, but she’s used to operating solo if that’s what it takes to save the world. Then, popular opinion takes a violent turn against her, making her the target of eco-terrorists and, almost worse, losing her the funding for her lab.

Enter Mansoor Al Kaabi, a charming, wealthy Emirati businessman building the first lunar hotel. He needs Alex to move to the lunar colony to help create a sustainable food supply for his future hotel guests. Alex agrees. Sure, her life goal was never to feed ultra-wealthy space tourists, but the funding package for her lab is too good to pass up.

Alex moves to the Moon with Mansoor, and the two get right to work. As she smuggles in illegal chickens, fights a tomato fungus that just won’t give up and dreams of planting olive groves on the Moon, to her surprise, Alex finds herself falling in love not just with the lunar colony, but with Mansoor, whose vision for the future of the Moon extends far beyond building a single hotel.

Meanwhile, earthside, eccentric genius Victor Beard and Rashid Al Kaabi, Mansoor’s younger (and very gay) brother, are trying to get the Homestead Act through Congress. This bill would allow for exponential lunar population growth, and its passage is essential for Victor and Mansoor to achieve their real vision, which–surprise–isn’t getting rich off lunar tourism, but saving planet earth by relocating a significant portion of humanity to the Moon.

When the eco-terrorists who’ve been after Alex hijack a rocket ship, take the lunar colony hostage and threaten to blow everything to smithereens, Alex, Mansoor, Victor and Rashid must choose what they’re willing to die for–and what they’re really living for. Is it their grandiose visions of saving the planet–or is it each other?

Claire Barner’s love of science fiction began at an early age when her father introduced her to Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Frank Herbert, and Lois McMaster Bujold.

Claire lives in Chicago and has spent her career in operations. She is an avid gardener and on a mission to maximize the number of tomatoes her small bungalow lot can produce. Claire loves to cook freshly harvested vegetables, mix strong cocktails, and host lively dinner parties. Claire leads the parent engagement group at her children’s school and is committed to enhancing equity at Chicago Public Schools. Claire studied public policy and education at the University of Chicago.

I hope you enjoy MOONRISING, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Jenna

Support My Author Journey

I hope sharing this evolution is helpful to those in the query trenches and authors preparing to go on submission to editors. And if the pitch for Moonrising appeals to you, I’d love your support! Here’s a few places you can pick up your copy today.

Amazon - Paperback, Kindle, or Audible

Barnes & Noble - Paperback, Nook, or Audiobook

Bookshop.org - Paperback

Audiobooks.com - Audiobook